Reactions
by Jane Roark
Summary: Johanna has not had much contact with any man. She believes this is the reason she has such strong memories of her reactions to the few she has met. I know the summary is awful, but I'm really not quite sure how to summarize it. Give it a chance, please!


AN: Okay, kinda stupid and totally random and pointless… but yeah, that's kind of me. I hope you like this!

Disclaimer: You think this is mine? Have you met the nice men in the white coats?

Johanna had not had much experience with men. It was a strange thing for such a pretty young girl to have no contact with the opposite sex, but when she was locked away in a tower, what did one expect? She supposed that was why her body responded so strangely to the different men she had, on occasion, spoken to.

Her guardian terrified her. She had no control over this, despite how many times she had told herself not to panic at the sight of Judge Turpin.

"_How lovely you look, Johanna." Judge Turpin sighed. This phrase was not new to her. He had told her this on several occasions, but within the past year or so, it had begun to take on a new meaning for her. As a child, it had annoyed her. A little older, and it had made her vaguely uncomfortable. Now, as a young lady, it made her heart speed up in panic and fright. _

_She did not blame the fright for her discomfort. This fright had always been inside her, trying its best to squish itself up into a small ball so it would be unnoticed, even to Johanna. But it could not help itself. The closer her guardian got to her, the less control it had. It was like its own person, trying desperately to protect Johanna. _

_He moved closer to her. The fright began to spread itself throughout her, unable to control itself. He touched her arm as though to lift it in order to get a better look at her. Her every pored screamed in discomfort. Trying, trying so hard to get her to pull away. She felt the creeping cold pins up her back. Her heart sped up, adrenaline pulsed through her veins. Her heart begged her to move away from him, to put herself out of the sheer misery and queasiness she felt. Johanna smiled unsteadily, praying that if she appeared normal he would let go of her hand and let her body get out of its irritation and panic. Her hand ached with the urge to jerk away, and it took every fiber of her being to stay put till he leered at her. And finally dropped her hand and ushered her out of her room. _

_Johanna dropped her head for a moment, trying desperately to soothe her frazzled nerves. She looked up and saw him standing in her doorway, watching._ 'He was always watching' _she finally realized. Johanna swallowed hard against nausea, and followed him._

Anthony excited her. This feeling was unexpected.

_He was even better up close than from out her window. From up close, she could see the true warmth of his eyes that made her feel more comfortable than she ever could remember. When he moved toward her, she felt her heart race, but less in a terrified beating of drums, more in a fluttery wing's way. The smallest touch from him soothed pain she didn't know had been enduring. _

_Her head felt light around him, and she liked it. She liked feeling as though it was okay to be looked at. She even sometimes reveled in the looks he gave her. She hadn't felt this way before, when Turpin or the Beadle would smirk at her. She felt safe with him. _

_When she was with him, Johanna truly believed she didn't need fright to protect her._

But **he **was a different story. Sweeney Todd, that was his name. Blood splattered on his face. On his shirt. On his razor. Turpin's blood. She couldn't help but feel grateful to this man, and that was the only thing that scared her. As he threatened her, she couldn't bring herself to feel the sheer and utter panic she had when Judge Turpin would simply touch her hand. This was strange and wrong and she knew it.

_When he looked at her, it broke her heart. She wanted to know what had shattered this man. The blood on him didn't suit him. The malice, the sheer vengefulness… did not look right on him. It was not the way his face was supposed to look. She knew that. _

_Johanna rationally knew she should scream, and she'd tried. But more than screaming, more than running away, she simply wanted to take the razor away from him. She wanted to clean the blood away from his face, and sit him down. She wanted to put her arms around him and let him cry. She wanted to tell him about what happened to the man in the asylum and what she'd done to him. To let him comfort her too. She knew it made no sense, but she thought she could help him. To figure out what broke him. But he left to check on screams before she could even choke out a soothing word. _

_Something about his face haunted her forever. Was it the rage? Was it the twisted nature that intrigued her? She always saw this face. But why?_

_Anthony thought it was terror that made her remember him. He always felt terrible for sending her there and putting her in danger. She didn't blame him._

Johanna sighed heavily and closed her blue eyes. She glanced up in the mirror that she was using to set her hair.

There! She saw him. She saw him in the mirror, and she saw him there frequently. Not exactly a clear picture of his face. Just traces. When she would sit for a long time and stare at her reflection, and her eyes would start to blur, she could see him, more clearly than ever. She could see what he looked like in happier times. Johanna could see Sweeney Todd in her own face.

But why him?

Okay, done. Sorry if you hate it. But tell me why, if you please. I really would appreciate some sort of feedback.


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